


Holograms from the Dead

by CallipygianGoldfish



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallipygianGoldfish/pseuds/CallipygianGoldfish
Summary: It’s been a long time since Jim last saw Bones. In his dreams it’s easier, but sometimes he just needs to see him again, face to face.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Holograms from the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> This started off a few years ago as an alternate ending to something happier I was working on at the time; it'll probably never see the light of day, but since I've got some time on my hands due to the lockdown, I figured I'd post it anyway :)

The hologram shivers in front of Jim, Bone’s face fading in and out. It’s an old and outdated projector, and it’s not quite clear enough for him to see what’s behind Bones. He thinks it might be the briefing room or perhaps Bone’s quarters, but it doesn’t matter though, as Jim can make out Bone’s features. That’s all he needs.

“Jim, if you’re watching this, then I’m sorry,” Bones says, talking as if giving a lecture through gritted teeth, not quite looking into the camera. “I know it’s kinda morbid, and you’re rolling your eyes, but listen up kid.” 

Jim isn’t rolling his eyes, he isn’t even smiling back. He never does, and he can only watch as Bones flickers, grimacing a little. 

“Hell, I don’t even know why I’m saying this. Maybe I’m just shit scared. But I’ve got two minutes before we leave and I lose my nerve for the next five years.”

“I know,” Jim says softly as the hologram pauses. 

“Space isn’t all I thought it would be,” Bones continues in the recording. “It’s so much bigger, there’s so much more terrifying shit out there than I ever thought possible. A million ways to die in a starship, eh? I should have written a book. Maybe I will.” He smiles at something off screen, and Jim can’t help tilting his head to try and find whatever he was staring at, as he always does. 

“But you were there. And I need to say this now, before we go out there yet again. And this’ll be the start of, what, our third trip together? The last two didn’t go so well, did they.” It’s not even a question but Jim shakes his head anyway, and takes another gulp of his drink. 

“I’ll still follow you on your tenth trip, if we both make it that far. God, ten missions- I’ll be ancient, you’ll still be young, huh. I bet we don’t even finish all of them, probably due to something you do. And despite the chaos, I’d still follow you to the end of the universe, Jim, and that’s not an exaggeration.” Bones pauses for a moment, his mouth twisting in a frown, then his face clears as if he’s figured something out. “Kid, I’m not going to say the words you already know, because I’ll just jinx this, whatever we have. But you do need to know, whatever happened to make you watch this, it wasn’t your fault. Never was, never will be. And you’re probably ignoring that too, so shut up for just a minute.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jim mumbles into the tiny silence before Bones’ next words. 

“I made my choices a long time ago. So now it’s up to you to go live your life. You’re ever so good at dwelling on the past, or whatever might have been, so just this once, don’t.” Bones smiles truly for a split second, and Jim expertly hits pause as the light catches his face, eternally freezing the rare lopsided grin.

God, Bones knew him so well. Jim finishes his drink, and rolls his glass in his hand, staring at the hologram in front of him. It flickers again, reminding Jim that any non-updated files will be archived soon, but he can’t bring himself to hit play again. Every word is engrained on his brain by now, and even though it was years before he was able to watch the whole clip, he knows it by heart. Bones still lingers in the med bay, the transporter room, and whenever Jim sits in the captain’s chair. And by God it still hurts.

There’s a knock at the door, and it slides open as Spock walks in. The lines are deeper on his face, yet no less concerned than thirty years ago.

“Ready to go, Captain? Launch is in ninety.”

“Nearly done,” Jim replies, and he swiftly flips off the hologram, taking the record with him to the Bridge. He pauses in front of a window on his way, and meets his own eyes in the reflection against the stars for a moment.

“Happy anniversary Bones,” Jim says. “Here’s to mission number ten.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm hoping to get back to some of my WIPs this week, so maybe I will actually finish some of them too!


End file.
